I haven't updated here in a while. Just haven't haven't felt motivated. I wanted to vent some thoughts though, I'm particularly stressed out right now and have no one to talk to. can't get a therapist appointment to save my life.
It was a mistake thinking that looking at pages related to mental illness on social media would be a source of support. I realized nobody there (by “there” I mean social media in general) actually wanted to recover. They view their mental illnesses as personality quirks.
They see posts like “OCD actually makes you a good person” and run with it. They use posts like that as an excuse not to work on themselves. Yet I’m the asshole for pointing out misleading posts like these? OCD ruined my life. Nobody should ever let it determine whether they’re a good or bad person. You won’t suddenly lose all your good traits once you recover.
And srolling thru comments on posts about dissociation made me realize nobody actually knows what it is or how life-ruining it can be. Just a bunch of scumbags using MIs as accessories.
Mental illness took almost everything from me. Being talked to like I know nothing about it just because I think people shouldn’t be viewing it as “a good thing” or an accessory is like a smack in the face.
I haven't recovered from either of the things I mentioned, but I'm not gonna sit here and act like they're what makes me a good person. Imagine getting diagnosed with OCD and seeing a post telling you that you're only a good person because of your OCD. That's fucked! How the fuck is that helping anyone??
Anyway, I got a book yesterday and it explained very well all of the scary DPDR symptoms and how to deal with them. It's been a lot worse since my bf left. But I can't let it rule my life. I have to keep my brain as preoccupied as possible. About to play an MMORPG with my bf now.